30 Best Alcoholic Jokes, Alcoholics Quotes, Stop Drinking Alcohol Quotes

Consistently is a compelling day to watch relentlessness, especially corresponding to devouring. These statements about liquor will urge you to think about your ensuing drink and urge you to close your tab, maybe never-endingly.

Alcoholic Jokes

Alcoholic Jokes
30 Best Alcoholic Jokes, Alcoholics Quotes, Stop Drinking Alcohol Quotes

 

  • Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
  • A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
  • Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self-destruction.

Funny alcoholic anonymous jokes

Funny alcoholic anonymous jokes
30 Best Alcoholic Jokes, Alcoholics Quotes, Stop Drinking Alcohol Quotes
  • Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 on the other hand, what do I have?” Student: “A drinking problem.”
  • Had too much wine last night. I have no idea how I got home from the sofa.
  • A guy and a dog are sitting at a bar. Dog says to the guy, you think your wife’s a bitch!

Alcoholic Jokes one-liners

Alcoholic Jokes one-liners
30 Best Alcoholic Jokes, Alcoholics Quotes, Stop Drinking Alcohol Quotes
  • What did the man with a slab of asphalt under his arm order?
    A beer please, and one for the road.”
  • How do you know a man is really really gay?
    When he’s nursing a Bacardi Breezer!
  • Alcohol doesn’t turn people into somebody they’re not. It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.

Alcoholic Jokes one-liners

Alcoholic Jokes one-liners
30 Best Alcoholic Jokes, Alcoholics Quotes, Stop Drinking Alcohol Quotes
  • You say alcoholic, I’ll say alcohol enthusiast
  • When life hands you lemons, find someone with tequila and salt!
  • A minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. “What is this,” asks the bartender, “some kind of joke?”
  • Two five-dollar bills walk into a bar and the bartender tells them that this is a singles bar.
  • A duck walks in a bar and orders a beer then says “Put it on my bill.”
  • A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Why the long face?”

Alcoholism quotes Top sayings

Alcoholism quotes Top sayings
30 Best Alcoholic Jokes, Alcoholics Quotes, Stop Drinking Alcohol Quotes
  • I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it. – Robert E. Lee
  •  An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do. – Dylan Thomas
  • “Alcoholism is a choice… not a life sentence.” —David Norman
  • “Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.” —Bob Marley
  • “A man does not exist until he is drunk.” —Ernest Hemingway

Stop drinking alcohol quotes

Stop drinking alcohol quotes
30 Best Alcoholic Jokes, Alcoholics Quotes, Stop Drinking Alcohol Quotes
  • “Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.” — Seneca
  • “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” — Winston Churchill
  • “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
  • “Money, like vodka, can play queer tricks with a man.” — Anton Chekhov
  • “From the fool and the drunkard you may learn the truth.” — Modern Greek proverb
  •  It Does Not Matter How Slowly You Go As Long As You Do Not Stop.

  • The Goal Isn’t To Be Sober. The Goal Is To Love Yourself So Much That You Don’t Need To Drink.
  •  If You Find Yourself In A Hole, The First Thing To Do Is Stop Digging.

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